places to go, people to meet
I read with interest the discussions posted by some of you. As a disabled gay man myself, I totally sympathize and understand what each and all of you out there fellow disabled gay men are going through. I had my first experience as a disabled person when I was around nineteen yo. I lost my right eye vision in a swimming pool accident. I was devastated! This accident changed and dramatically affected the rest of my life, even at present--I am 56 yo now--it is hard to accept I lost one eye; that I have to rely on my left eye vision, and regardless a highly professional cosmetic prothesis I wear to mask my disabled eye, I know I will never look 100% natural. Never the less, I had to go on with my life and make the best out of it; and try to live as normally as I d possible could; go to work; graduate from college; keep moving. Then, when I was in my middle 40's, I developed cervical dystonia; a neurological condition that affected my neck. This condition is incurable and irreversible; worst of all, there is nothing I can do to hide it or mask it. It is obvious. For the second time around I had to readjust my lifestyle. It was almost like getting out of the closet for the third time!
I couldn't agree more with some of your statements about the sheer discrimination among the gay community against gay men / women with disabilities. It is most unfortunate our Western gay mentality has been molded for centuries after the Greek parameters of physical beauty and perfection. Sad to say, and to admit, that in this time and age, we are still living in a shallow, hedonistic and egocentric gay society where the only acceptable physical and personal attributes that count are youth and physical perfection regardless of any intellectual and personal qualities.
The many gay sites are a perfect example of such discrimination. I did an experiment for a couple of months in several of these sites. First, I placed my profile being truthful and honest by fully disclosing my disabilities. Result: minimal responses--two or three over a period of several months--and a lot of "thanks but not thanks." Then, I concealed my disabilities, changed my pix, and the the responses began to arrive regularly. Even from members who previously had rejected me!
It could be great if Gay Travellers, or any other gay site, establish a chat room for people with disabilities where everybody--disable or not--is welcome. Gaynet.com already has a similar chatroom. Surprisingly, every time I access this Gaynet chatroom, nobody is there! Sometimes I feel I am the only gay man with disabilities and with the guts to be honest and truthful. My dear disable fellows, we have to make ourselves more visible; connect; interact with each other, and find the support; friendship and love among ourselves that people without disabilities take for granted. IN NUMBERS THERE IS STHRENGHT! May fortune grant you peace, health and happiness!